quarta-feira, 2 de abril de 2014

An alternate "patch" finale script for How I Met your Mother

Have you seen HIMYM finale? If you didn't, you have to watch it! It is not bad, not at all. It's not a kind of ending you usually expect on a sitcom. Spoiler Alert!

So if you did watch it, you know Barney and Robin get divorce and the mother is dead. What's not to like? I know it is normal to be a little disappointed. Of course, we are all always rooting for love. Am I right?

But for everything there is a fix! This is fiction, and if I didn't like I can change it! And I will!

The following script is a "patch" for the finale episode of How I Met your Mother. This one should make fans happier and more willing to accept the real sad ending. It helped me! 

The script starts at the very end of the finale, when Ted shows Robin the blue french horn. Let's take from there!

########## Alternate "Patch" Ending for HIMYM ##########

Robin opens the door. Ted shows the Blue Frech Horn and says:

Ted - What do you think? You and me!?
Robin - The Blue French Horn is back again!
Ted - Yes it is! (Ted is very positive and hopeful)
Robin - You are always ready to save me...
Ted - Yes I am! I'm like a knight! Call me Sir Ted!

They both laugh.

Ted - Well?
Robin - Ted! (Pause) You are great!
Ted - Oh, no... (Ted realizes Robin is about to reject him again)
Robin - But maybe I don't want to be saved. 
Ted - Oh my god, this is worse than the story!
Robin - Maybe I'm happy like that!
Ted - No you're not. You are alone! It's all work, you never have time for any happiness.
Robin - That's the life I wanted for me Ted.
Ted - But...
Robin - You and I, Me and Barney, there is a reason why it never worked. I didn't really commit.
Robin - I always wanted a career. I wanted to be important, to really contribute to the world.
Ted - So you're happy?
Robin - I am! I really am. We would never work Ted, not even if you had never met your wife! Not even if she dies and we're both single again, Ted.
Ted - What? (Ted is confused)
Robin - Ted, Ted, Ted...

Robin continues to say "Ted" over and over until the voice changes and Tracy (Aka the mother) appears. 

Ted is asleep in the working room. The mother is trying to wake him up. The kids are not there anymore.

The Mother - Ted! Wake up! Come to bed!
Ted - What? You are alive! You are alive!
The Mother - Come again for Big Fudge?
Ted - I just had a terrible dream.
The Mother - Let me guess. I'm dead and you try to get back together with Robin?
Ted - Noooooo. (pause) Yes. Sorry...
The Mother - That's OK, honey. You guys had so much history together. You are just worried about her. You are worried she's not really happy.
Ted - Damn... you are good!
The Mother - It's the spiritual journey I've been through. (Sarcasm)

They both laugh.

Ted - Is it really possible that she's happy?
The Mother - I know she is. I talked to her recently.

The scene cuts to a typical New York small grocery store. It looks a lot like the one from "the purple giraffe". There's even a crane machine filled with toys. Robin is wearing formal clothes and talking on the phone using some advanced high-tech Bluetooth-like adapter on her ear.

Robin - I don't care if a revolution is about to happen in that country. Tonight is my day off, Patrice! 

Pause as the other person seems to respond.

Robin  - I know the president wants me. I told him to wait, damn it! 
Robin  - Ok... (pause) I'm om my way in a few days. Don't let the president do anything before I get there!

Robin bumps into the mother.

Robin - Heeeeey! Long time no see!
The mother - No way! I watch you every night!
Robin - I know, right? It's been crazy for like, years. (Pause) But I loooove it! Hey, how's Ted?
The mother - We are great! Luke is starting college soon. Can you imagine it? Ted is flipping out!
Robin - Yes! I know exactly what is happening! Ted is going crazy helping with college applications, letters, recommendations.
The mother - How do you know that?
Robin - I know Ted!
The mother - Of course... (Pause) I always wonder what would had happened if you guys had never broken up.
Robin - We would never work. The same as Barney and me. Every since I left Canada I always wanted to be a journalist, to change something in the world. You know?

The scene cuts to the working room again.

Ted - So she's really happy?
The Mother - Pretty much! But the story is not finished! You are really impatient!
Ted - Sorry!

The scene cuts to the small grocery store again.

The Mother - So... (Pause) you never really wanted a family?
Robin - I have a family, Tracy! You, Ted, Barney, Lily and Marshall. We may not hang out as we used to, but we get together from time to time! We drink, grab a bite to eat and talk. Better than most families, right?
The Mother - Right!
Robin - So, I'm in town for a couple of days. Ask Ted to give me a call so we can all hang out!

Robin gives Trace a card and the scene cuts to the working room again.

Ted - I guess we all drifted apart for a while, but we are still together somehow.

There is an awkward pause.

The mother (playing angry) - I hope you waited at least five years before you look for another woman!
Ted - Six, actually.

They both laugh until Ted have an idea.

Ted - So she's in town for a couple of days? 
The Mother - Yes.
Ted - Do you still have that card.
The Mother - Yes.

The mother gives Ted the card and he stands up very fast.

Ted - I need to see her!
The mother - But honey, it's almost 2AM. You know the rules!
Ted - Yes, I know. But I have to see her now! Sorry baby, I just have to go!

Ted runs but the camera stays on the mother. Ted returns and kisses the mother in a very fast way.

Ted - That's why I love you!
The mother - Go, go, go!
Ted - I just have to make one little detour.

The scene cuts to Barney's apartment. There is a knock on the door and a sleepy Barney answers the door wearing a suit pajamas. As the door opens and Ted says:

Ted - We have to steal a blue french horn and find Robin!
Barney - No way...
Ted - Why not?

Barney opens a cabinet and shows Ted THE blue french horn. The real one.

Ted - How is that even possible?
Barney - I bought this from that restaurant before it went out the business. You know. Too many burglars...
Ted - So you've never got over her!
Barney - Have you?

Ted smiles.

Ted - Let's go! I think she's about to leave town. And we still have one place to go!

The scene cuts to a heavy car traffic congestion. They are having problems getting a cab.

Ted - Damn it. 2 AM in Manhattan is, like, rush hour now!
Barney - Don't worry. I have a guy!

The scene cuts as they enter a cab and a boy, that looks a lot like Ranjit, says:

Ranjit Boy - Hello!
Ted - Are you? Is it really?
Barney - Yes it is!
Ted - Boy! To Lily and Marshall!
Ranjit Boy - Lily and Marshall!

The scene cuts to a beautiful two-story apartment. We hear a knock on the door. A sleepy Marshall wearing a nightgown opens the door. Barney shows the blue french horn.

Ted - Supreme Fudge! Permission to go on an adventure!
Marshall - Permission (pause) granted!
Lily (just voice, she's in the bedroom) - I'm in!

They all get in the cab and the driver says:

Ranjit Boy - Where to?

They all cheer as they remember Ranjit. Ted is sitting on the front seat.

Ted - To Robin's place!
Ranjid Boy - Robin's place!

The scene cuts to Robin's apartment. A small place with almost no furniture. She's all pack to leave. The doorbell rings on the front door. Robin opens the window and she can finally see the gang once again.

Ted smiles and waves and so does Barney. Lily and Marshall are smiling and hugging each other. Barney shows the blue french horn as if he is giving an invitation. It looks like he's saying "what about now?".

Robin smiles.

(Roll credits) 

The end.


I hope this new alternative ending gives you, dear reader, the peace of mind you needed! Thanks for your time and forgive my grammar mistakes!